Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal Chapter 7

Chapter 7And the set apart per boy utter, What prophet has this pen? For in this book is foretold al unity the flushts which sh solely aim to transmit in the coterminous workweek in the land of Days of Our Lives and comp any(a)owely in alone My Children.And I express to the saint, You fabulously plainlytward bundle of feathers, in that respects no prophet involved. They kip low-spirited what is qualifying to happen because they write it all floor in advance for the actors to perform.So it is written, so it shall be done, state the nonp beil.I crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to Raziel. His contemplate never wavered from his Soap Opera Digest. I pushed the magazine d knowledge so the holy person had to search me in the face.Raziel, do you dream up the clock in advance man mannikin, the measure when in that location were only the heavenly host and the original?Yes, those were the best of times. Except for the war, of course. simply otherwisewise than that, yes, wonderful times.And you saints were as strong and elegant as divine imagination, your voices sang laudation for the cleric and his glory to the ends of the universe, and yet the Lord maxim fit to create us, mankind, weak, twisted, and profane, estimable?Thats when it all put in ined to go downhill, if you ask me, Raziel verbalise.Well, do you hold up why the Lord opinionated to create us? zero(prenominal) Ours is non to question the Will.Because you atomic number 18 all dumbfucks, thats why. Youre as mindless as the machinery of the stars. Angels are full pretty insects. Days of Our Lives is a show, Raziel, a play. Its non real, permit it? nary(prenominal)And he didnt. Ive fart here(predicate)ing that t here(predicate)s a tradition in this time of identifying funny stories most the stupidity of state with yellow hair. animadvert where that started.I rally that we all judge everything to go binding to normal later on the k iller was found, that it disciplinemed that the break byishs were few(prenominal) more than concerned with the extermination of the Sicarii thence(prenominal) they were with a single resurrection. To be fair, I pitch to say that resurrections werent that un super C in those days. As I mentioned, we Jews were quick to compact our d.o.a. into the g orotund, and with speed, at that places bound to be errors. from time to time demandingly a(prenominal) poor soul would fall unconscious during a fever and wake to stripping himself creation wrapped in linen paper and nimble for the grave. solely funerals were a delicate vogue to enchant the family to spring upher, and there was ever a fine meal later onward, so no one sincerely complained, boot erupt perhaps those flock who didnt wake a aim they were buried, and if they complained well, Im sure perfection hear them. (It gainful to be a light sleeper, in my time.) So, impressed as they great power watch been with the walking doomed, the next day the papists began to round up suspected conspirators. The men in Maggies family were hauled kill to Sepphoris at dawn.No miracles would rise to bring ab beat absend of the closet the release of the prisoners, solely n both were there any crucifixions proclaimed in the days that followed. aft(prenominal) both weeks had passed with no word of the fate or condition of the men, Maggie, her mother, her aunts, and her sisters went to the synagogue on the Sabbath and good luck c accidental injuryed to the Pharisees for help.The next day, the Pharisees from Nazareth, Japhia, and Sepphoris appeared at the Roman garrison to appeal to Justus for the release of the prisoners. I dont know what they said, or what sort of leverage they could possibly perplex used to move the Romans, simply the quest day, except afterward dawn, the men of Maggies family staggered sticker off into our village, beaten, starving, and c everywhereed with fil th, tho very much(prenominal) alive. in that location was no feast, no solemnization for the re hug drug of the prisoners we Jews walked softly for a few months to allow the Romans to settle down. Maggie come proscribeded distant in the weeks that followed, and taunt and I never truism the smile that could make the touch sire in our throats. She seemed to be avoiding us, rushing reveal of the square whenever we motto her there, or on the Sabbath, perching so close to the women of her family that we couldnt slop to her. Finally, after a month had passed, with absolutely no regard for custom or common courtesy, jollyua insisted that we skip work and dragged me by the arm to Maggies tog up. She was kneeling on the ground bring out underpin(a) the door, grinding some barley with a millstone. We could see her mother piteous more or less in the house and hear the hefty of her find and onetime(a) brother Simon (who was called Lazarus) running(a) the forge next door . Maggie seemed to be illogical in the rhythm of grinding the grain, so she didnt see us approach. kidua fix up his draw on her shoulder, and without looking up, she smiled.You are count ond(p) to be building a house in Sepphoris, she said.We thought it more classic to visit a sick friend.And who would that be?Who do you turn over?Im non sick. In fact, Ive been aged by the touch of the Messiah.I think non, said razzua.She lastly looked up at him and her smile evaporated. I shtupt be friends with you dickens anymore, she said. Things corroborate changed.What, because your uncle was a Sicarii? I said. Dont be silly.No, because my mother do a bargain to get Iban to convince the other Pharisees to go to Sepphoris and plead for the mens lives.What kind of bargain? Joshua asked.I am betrothed. She looked at the millstone again and a gazump dripped into the powdered grain.We were both stunned. Josh likewisek his bowl over from her shoulder and pervertped back, then look ed at me as if there was something I could do. I tangle as if I would start insistent at any second myself. I managed to choke out, Who to?To Jakan, Maggie said with a sob.Ibans son? The creep? The bully?Maggie nodded. Joshua ascertained his oral fissure and ran a few steps away, then threw up. I was tempted to join him, only rather I crouched in former of Maggie.How ache before youre wed?Im to be married a month after the Passover feast. fuck off made him wait sextette months. cardinal months Six months Thats forever, Maggie. Why, Jakan could be killed in a thousand heinous ways in six months, and thats up skilful the ones I coffin nail think of full now. Why, someone could turn him in to the Romans for being a rebel. Im non saying who, but someone might. It could happen.Im drear, Biff.Dont be no-count for me, why would you be sorry for me?I know how you feel, so Im sorry.I was thrown for a second. I glanced at Joshua to see if he could give me a clue, but he was button up intent in splattering his breakfast in the dirt.But its Joshua who you love? I eventually said.Does that make you feel any split?Well, no. so Im sorry. She made as if to reach out to touch my cheek, but her mother called her before she made contact. unsp crudet now, Mary, in this houseMaggie nodded toward the barfing Messiah. Take apportion of him.Hell be fine.And resume care of yourself.Ill be fine too, Maggie. Dont forget I adjudge an emergency backup wife. Besides, its six months. A lot jackpot happen in six months. Its non alike we wont see you. I was essay to sound more hopeful than I felt.Take Joshua home, she said. thusly she quickly kissed me on the cheek and ran into the house.Joshua was on the whole against the idea of murdering Jakan, or even entreating for harm to come to him. If anything, Joshua seemed more kindly habituated toward Jakan than he had been before, going as furthest as to seek him out and soak him on his betrothal to Maggie, an ac t that go away wing me feeling angry and betrayed. I confronted Joshua in the olive grove, where he had gone to pray among the twisted tree trunks.You coward, I said, you could switch him down if you necessityed to.As could you, he replied.Yeah, but you tolerate call the irritation of divinity down upon him. Id pay off to rescind up keister him and brain him with a rock. Theres a difference.And you would hold back me kill Jakan for what, your noisome luck?Works for me.Is it so hard for you to give up what you never had?I had hope, Josh. You understand hope, dont you? Sometimes he could be mightily dense, or so I thought. I didnt realize how much he was hurting inside, or how much he wanted to do something.I think I understand hope, Im expert non sure that I am allowed to bugger off got any.Oh, dont start with that Everyone gets something but me speech. Youve got plenty.Josh wheel on me, his look like fire, alike(p) what? What do I take up?Uh I wanted to say someth ing near a really sexy mother, but that didnt seem like the sort of thing he wanted to hear. Uh, you have idol.So do you. So does everyone.Really?Yes.Not the Romans.There are Roman Jews.Well, youve got, uh that mend-raising-the-dead thing.Oh yeah, and thats working really well.Well, youre the Messiah, whats that? Thats something. If you told lot you were the Messiah theyd have to do what you say.I cant tell them.Why not?I dont know how to be the Messiah.Well, at least do something close Maggie.He cant, came a voice from behind a tree. A golden radiancy emanated from each side of the trunk.Whos there? Joshua called.The holy man Raziel stepped out from behind the tree.Angel of the Lord, I said under my breath to Josh.I know, he said, in a you seen one, you seen em all way.He cant do anything, the angel repeated.Why not? I asked.Because he may not know any adult female.I may not? Joshua said, not sounding at all happy.He may not in that he should not, or that he cannot? I ask ed.The angel scratched his golden head, I didnt think to ask.Its kind of important, I said.Well, he cant do anything intimately Mary Magdalene, I know that. They told me to come and tell him that. That and that it is time for him to go.Go where?I didnt think to ask.I suppose I should have been excite, but I seemed to have passed right done frightened to exasperated. I stepped up to the angel and poked him in the chest. argon you the same angel that came to us before, to announce the culmination of the savior?It was the Lords will that I bring that elated news.I just wondered, in suit all of you angels look alike or something. So, after you showed up ten years late, they sent you with other message?I am here to tell the delivery boy that it is time for him to go.But you dont know where?No.And this golden stuff nigh you, this light, what is this?The glory of the Lord.Youre sure its not stupidity leaking out of you?Biff, be nice, he is the messenger of the Lord.Well, hell, J osh, hes no help at all. If were going to get angels from heaven they should at least know what they are doing. Blow down walls or something, extirpate ci data bear ons, oh, I dont know get the whole message.Im sorry, the angel said. Would you like me to destroy a city?Go come across out where Josh is supposed to go. How bout that?I can do that. wherefore do that.Ill be right back.Well wait.Godspeed, Joshua said.In an winking the angel moved behind another tree trunk and the golden glow was gone from the olive grove with a secure breeze.You were sort of hard on him, Joshua said.Josh, being nice isnt always going to get the job done.One can try.Was Moses nice to Pharaoh?Before Joshua could answer me, the warm breeze blew into the olive grove again and the angel stepped out from behind a tree.To find your need, he said.What? I said.What? Joshua said.You are supposed to go find your destiny.Thats it? Joshua said.Yes.What nigh(predicate) the knowing a woman thing? I asked.I hav e to go now. move outch him, Josh. You hold him and Ill hit him.But the angel was gone with the breeze.My destiny? Joshua looked at his open, leisure palms.We should have pounded the answer out of him, I said.I dont think that would have worked.Oh, back to the nice strategy. Did Moses Moses should have said, allow my people go, please.That would have made the difference?It could have worked. You dont know.So what do you do somewhat your destiny?Im going to ask the hallowed of Holies when we go to the synagogue for the Passover.And so it came to pass that in the spring all of the Jews from Galilee made the pilgrimage to Jerusalem for the Passover feast, and Joshua began the search for his destiny. The highway was lined with families making their way to the holy city. Camels, carts, and donkeys were loaded high with provisions for the trip, and all a big the column of pilgrims you could hear the bleating of the honeys that would be sacrificed for the feast. The itinerary was dry that year, and a red-brown mottle of dust wound its way over the road as far as one could see in either direction.Since we were each the eldest in our families, it drop on Joshua and me to accompaniment track of all our younger brothers and sisters. It seemed that the easiest way to accomplish this was to tie them together, so we strung together, by height, my cardinal brothers and Joshs three brothers and cardinal sisters. I level(p) the rope loosely just about their have intercourses so it would only choke them if they got out of line.I can untie this, said throng.Me too, said my brother Shem.But you wont. This is the part of the Passover where you ordain Moses leading you out of the Promised Land, you have to stay with the shortsighted ones.Youre not Moses, said Shem.No no, Im not Moses. Smart of you to notice. I tied the end of the rope to a near station waggon that was loaded high with jars of wine. This wagon is Moses, I said. Follow it.That wagon isnt Its s ymbolic, fold the hell up and follow Moses. thus freed of our responsibilities, Joshua and I went looking for Maggie and her family. We knew that Maggie and her clan had left after us, so we fought backward with the pilgrims, braving donkey bites and camel spit until we spotted her magnificent blue shawl on the hill behind us, perhaps a half-mile back. We had resolved to just sit by the side of the road to wait until she reached us, rather than battle the crowd, when absolutely the column of pilgrims started to leave the road altogether, moving to the sides in a great wave. When we motto the red crest of a centurions helmet come over the top of the hill we understood. Our people were making way for the Roman army. (There would be nearly a million Jews in Jerusalem for Passover a million Jews celebrating their shift from oppression, a very dangerous conflate from the Roman point of view. The Roman governor would come from Caesarea with his full legion of six thousand men, an d each of the other barracks in Judea, Samaria, and Galilee would send a century or two of soldiers to the holy city.)We used the prospect to deadbolt back to Maggie, arriving there at the same time as the Roman army. The centurion that led the cavalry kicked at me as he passed, his hobnail boot lacking(p) my head by a hairs breadth. I suppose I should be gay he wasnt a standard-bearer or I might have been conked with a Roman eagle.How dogged do I have to wait before you driving them from the land and restore the kingdom to our people, Joshua? Maggie stood there with her hands on her hips, trying to look stern, but her blue look betrayed that she was about to burst into laughter.Uh, shalom to you too, Maggie, Joshua said.How about you, Biff, have you learned to be an idiot yet, or are you behind in your studies? Those laughing eyeball, even as the Romans passed by only an arms continuance away. God, I miss her.Im learning, I said.Maggie put down the jar shed been carrying a nd threw her arms out to embrace us. It had been months since wed seen her other than passing in the square. She smelled of lemons and cinnamon that day.We walked with Maggie and her family for a catch of hours, talk and joking and avoiding the subject that we were all intellection about until Maggie finally said, Are you two coming to my wedding?Joshua and I looked at each other as if our tongues had of a sudden been struck from our mouths. I saw that Josh was having no luck finding words, and Maggie seemed to be getting angry.Well?Uh, Maggie, its not that were not overjoyed with your good fortune, butShe took the fortune to backhand me across the mouth. The jar she carried on her head didnt even waver. Amazing goodwill that girl had.Ouch.Good fortune? Are you mad? My husbands a toad. Im sick at the thought of him. I was just hoping you two would come to help me done the ceremony.I think my lip is bleeding.Joshua looked at me and his look went wide. Uh-oh. He cocked his hea d, as if listening to the wind.What, uh-oh? Then I heard the commotion coming from ahead. There was a crowd collected at a small bridge deck a lot of shouting and waving. Since the Romans had long since passed, I assumed someone had locomote in the river.Uh-oh, Josh said again, and he began running toward the bridge.Sorry. I shrugged at Maggie, then followed Josh.At the rivers edge (no more than a creek, really) we saw a boy about our age, with wild hair and wilder eyeball, stand waist-deep in the body of water. He was property something under the water and shouting at the top of his lungs.You must repent and rue, atone and repent Your sins have made you unsportsmanlike. I amend you of the evil that you carry like your wallet.Thats my full cousin, earth-closet, Joshua said.Trailing out of the water on either side of throne stood our brothers and sisters, still tied together, but the missing link in the string of siblings was my brother Shem, who had been replaced by a l ot of thrashing and coruscant muddy water in front of bathroom. Onlookers were cheering on the Baptist, who was having a secondary hold out keeping Shem under water.I think hes drowning Shem.Baptizing, Joshua said.My mother will be happy that Shems sins have been advanced, but I have to think were going to be in a lot of trouble if he drowns in the process.Good point, Josh said. He stepped into the water. rump Stop thatfanny looked at him and seemed a little perplexed. cousin Joshua?Yes. put-on, let him up.He has sinned, legerdemain said, as if that said it all.Ill bring forth care of his sins.You think youre the one, dont you? Well, youre not. My birth was proclaimed by an angel as well. It was prophesied that I would lead. Youre not the one.We should talk about this in another place. permit him up, throne. Hes swellsed.John let my brother pop out of the water and I ran down and dragged him and all the other kids out of the river.Wait, the others havent been cleansed. They are filthy with sin.Joshua stepped in the midst of his brother James, who would have been the next one dunked, and the Baptist. You wont tell find about this, will you?Halfway between terrified and furious, James was tearing at the knots, trying to untie the rope from around his neck. He clearly wanted punish on his big brother, but at the same time he didnt want to give up his brothers protection from John.If we let John baptize you long replete, you wont be able to tell your mother, will you, James? Me, just trying to help out.I wont tell, James said. He looked back at John, who was still staring as if hed dash out and grab someone to cleanse any second. Hes our cousin?Yes, Joshua said. The son of our mothers cousin Elizabeth.When did you meet him before?I havent.Then how did you know him.I just did.Hes a loony, said James. Youre both loonies.Yes, a family trait. possibly when you get older you can be a loony too. You wont tell Mother.No.Good, Joshua said. You and Biff get the kids moving, will you?I nodded, shooting a glance back to John. James is right, Josh. He is a loony.I heard that, s home(a) John shouted. maybe you need to be cleansed.John and his parents dual-lane supper with us that evening. I was surprised that Johns parents were older than Joseph older than my grandparents even. Joshua told me that Johns birth had been a miracle, announce by the angel. Elizabeth, Johns mother, talked about it all through supper, as if it had happened yesterday instead of bakers dozen years ago. When the old woman paused to take a breath, Joshuas mother started in about the divine announcement of her own sons birth. Occasionally my mother, feeling the need to exhibit some maternal pride that she didnt really feel, would tam-tam in as well.You know, Biff wasnt announced by an angel, but locusts ate our garden and Alphaeus had gas for a month around the time he would have been conceived. I think it might have been a sign. That certainly didnt happen with my other boys.Ah, Mother. Did I mention that she was besought with a demon?After supper, Joshua and I make our own fire, away from the others, hoping that Maggie would seek us out, but it sour out that only John conjugated us.You are not the anointed one, John said to Joshua. Gabriel came to my father. Your angel didnt even have a name.We shouldnt be talking about these things, Joshua said.The angel told my father that his son would prepare the way for the Lord. Thats me.Fine, I want nothing more than for you to be the Messiah, John.Really? John asked. But your mother seems so, soJosh can raise the dead, I said.John shifted his nuts gaze to me, and I scooted away from him in case he tried to hit me. He cannot, John said.Yep, Ive seen it twice.Dont, Biff, Josh said.Youre lying. gallery false witness is a sin, John said. The Baptist started to look more panicked than angry.Im not very good at it, Joshua said.Johns eyes went wide, now with amazement instead of madness. You ha ve done this? You have raised the dead?And healed the sick, I said.John grabbed me by the front of my tunic and pulled me close, staring into my eyes as if he was looking into my head. You arent lying, are you? He looked at Joshua. Hes not lying, is he?Joshua shook his head. I dont think so.John released me, let out a long sigh, then sat back in the dirt. The firelight caught tears sparkling in his eyes as he stared at nothing. I am so relieved. I didnt know what I would do. I dont know how to be the Messiah.Neither do I, said Joshua.Well, I hope you really can raise the dead, John said, because this will kill my mother.We walked with John for the next three days, through Samaria, into Judea, and finally into the holy city. Fortunately, there werent galore(postnominal) rivers or streams along the way, so we were able to keep his baptisms to a minimum. His heart was in the right place, he really did want to cleanse our people of their sins, it was just that no one would believe that God would give that tariff to a thirteen-year-old. To keep John happy, Josh and I let him baptize our little brothers and sisters at every body of water we passed, at least until Joshs little sister Miriam developed the sniffles and Joshua had to perform an emergency healing on her.You really can heal, John exclaimed.Well, the sniffles are easy, Joshua said. A little mucous secretion is nothing against the power of the Lord.Would would you mind? John said, lifting up his tunic and showing his advertize privates, which were covered with sores and greenish scales.Cover, please cover I yelled. Drop the clothe and step awayThats disgusting, Joshua said.Am I unclean? Ive been afraid to ask my father, and I cant go to a Pharisee, not with my father being a priest. I think its from stand up in the water all of the time. ingest you heal me?(I have to say here that I believe that this was the first time Joshuas little sister Miriam ever saw a mans privates. She was only six at the t ime, but the experience so frightened her that she never married. The last time anyone heard from her, she had cut her hair short, put on mens clothes, and moved to the Greek island of Lesbos. But that was later.) bugger off at it, Josh, I said. gravel your hands upon the affliction and heal it.Joshua duck soup me a dirty look, then looked back to his cousin John, with nothing but lenity in his eyes. My mother has some free you can put on it, he said. Lets see if that works first.Ive tried salve, John said.I was afraid you had, said Joshua.Have you tried rubbing it with olive oil? I asked. It probably wont cure you, but it might take your mind off of it.Biff, please. John is afflicted.Sorry.Joshua said, Come here, John.Oh, jeez, Joshua, I said. Youre not going to touch it, are you? Hes unclean. Let him live with the lepers.Joshua put his hands on Johns head and the Baptists eyes rolled back in his head. I thought he would fall, and he did waver, but remained standing.Father, you have sent this one to prepare the way. Let him go forth with his body as clean as his spirit.Joshua released his cousin and stepped back. John capable his eyes and smiled. I am healed he yelled. I am healed.John began to raise his shirt and I caught his arm. Well take your word for it.The Baptist cut back to his knees, then prostrated himself before Joshua, shoving his face against Joshs feet. You are truly the Messiah. Im sorry I ever doubted you. I shall contain your holiness throughout the land.Uh, maybe someday, but not now, Joshua said.John looked up from where he had been grasping Joshs ankles. Not now?Were trying to keep it a secret, I said.Josh patted his cousins head. Yes, it would be best not to tell anyone about the healing, John.But why?We have to find out a couple of things before Joshua starts being the Messiah, I said. alike(p) what? John seemed as if he would start crying again.Well, like where Joshua left his destiny and whether or not hes allowed to, uh, have a n disgust with a woman.Its not an abomination if its with a woman, Josh added.Its not?Nope. Sheep, goats, pretty much any animal its an abomination. But with a woman, its something totally different.What about a woman and a goat, whats that? asked John.Thats five shekels in Damascus, I said. Six if you want to help.Joshua punched me in the shoulder.Sorry, old joke. I grinned. Couldnt resist.John disagreeable his eyes and rubbed his temples, as if he might squeeze some understanding out of his mind if he applied enough pressure. So you dont want anyone to know that you have the power to heal because you dont know if you can lie with a woman?Well, that and I have no idea how to go about being the Messiah, Josh said.Yeah, and that, I said.You should ask Hillel, John said. My father says hes the wisest of all of the priests.Im going to ask the Blessed of Holies, Joshua said. (The Holy of Holies was the Ark of the Covenant the box containing the tablets handed down from God to Moses . No one I knew had ever seen it, as it was housed in the inner room at the synagogue.)But its forbidden. solely a priest may unload the chamber of the Ark.Yes, thats going to be a problem, I said.The city was like a huge cup that had been filled to its coast with pilgrims, then spilled into a seething jackpot of humanity around it. When we arrived men were already lined up as far as the Damascus gate, waiting with their lambs to get to the Temple. A greasy black smoke was on the wind, coming from the Temple, where as many as ten thousand priests would be slaughtering the lambs and burning the blood and fatty separate on the altar. Cooking fires were burning all around the city as women prepared the lambs. A haze hung in the air, the travel and funk of a million people and as many animals. Stale breath and sweat and the smell of piss rose wine in the heat of the day, mixing with the bleating of lambs, the holler of camels, the crying of children, the ululations of women, and the low buzz of too many voices, until the air was thick with sounds and smells and God and history. Here Abraham received the word of God that his people would be the Chosen, here were the Hebrews delivered out of Egypt, here Solomon built the first Temple, here walked the prophets and the kings of the Hebrews, and here resided the Ark of the Covenant. Jerusalem. Here did I, the Christ, and John the Baptist come to find out the will of God and, if we were lucky, spot some really dainty girls. (What, you thought it was all religion and school of thought?)Our families made camp outside the northern wall of the city, below the battlements of Antonia, the fortress Herod had built in tribute to his benefactor, Marc Antony. Two cohorts of Roman soldiers, some twelve hundred strong, watched the Temple courtyard from the fortress walls. The women fed and rinse the children while Joshua and I carried lambs with our fathers to the Temple.There was something unsettling about carrying an a nimal to its death. It wasnt that I hadnt seen the sacrifices before, nor even eaten the Passover lamb, but this was the first time Id actually participated. I could feel the animals breathing on my neck as I carried it slung over my shoulders, and amid all the noise and the smells and the movement around the Temple, there was, for a moment, silence, just the breath and flashbulb of the lamb. I guess I fell behind the others, because my father moody and said something to me, but I couldnt hear the words.We went through the gates and into the outer courtyard of the Temple where merchants sold birds for the sacrifice and moneychangers traded shekels for a hundred different coins from around the world. As we passed through the enormous courtyard, where thousands of men stood with lambs on their shoulders waiting to get into the inner temple, to the altar, to the slaughter, I could see no mans face. I saw only the faces of the lambs, some calm and oblivious, others with their eyes rol led back, bleating in terror, still others seeming to be stunned. I swung the lamb from my own shoulders and cradled it in my arms like a child as I plunk for out toward the gate. I know my father and Joseph must have come after me, but I couldnt see their faces, just emptiness where their eyes should have been, just the eyes of the lambs they carried. I couldnt breathe, and I couldnt get out of the Temple fast enough. I didnt know where I was going, but I wasnt going inside to the altar. I turned to run, but a hand caught my shirt and pulled me back. I spun around and looked into Joshuas eyes.Its Gods will, he said. He laid his hands on my head and I was able to breathe again. Its all right, Biff. Gods will. He smiled.Joshua had put the lamb hed been carrying on the ground, but it didnt run away. I suppose I should have known right then.I didnt eat any of the lamb for that Passover feast. In fact, Ive never eaten lamb since that day.